Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Mince on November 21, 2017, 07:05:35 PM

Title: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 21, 2017, 07:05:35 PM
Here's the Christmas competition.

This is a piece of original semi-abstract art by a friend of mine. I have omitted the title. You have to tell me what its title should be and offer a brief description of the piece.

The prize is the piece of art in question plus, oh, a box of chocolates or something.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 21, 2017, 09:42:03 PM
"Mammoth Ambushed By Ducks."
I don't think I need add any more.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 21, 2017, 11:16:48 PM
I think I might repost the photo with a grid so that you can prove you're seeing all this in the artwork and not at the bottom of a glass of whiskey.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 22, 2017, 01:13:16 AM
"Mammoth Ambushed By Ducks."

Dammit! That's what I was going to say.  :(
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 22, 2017, 01:16:24 AM
Semi-abstract, you say? Can we see the other half? How on Earth can we properly critique this piece without its full context, Philistine?
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 22, 2017, 09:44:18 AM
So far, Roger is going to win the Christmas competition while drunk.

I've updated the topic with the prize for winning.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 22, 2017, 11:51:02 AM
Okay, this obviously depicts the little-known thirteenth labour of Hercules (face F-11), as he lifts the mythical One-gigantic-footed Elephant (head G-1,2,3 & 4) clear from the Pit Of Despair (K-14), whilst being attacked by the Killer Stork of Bulshyterdes (E, F, G - 6). Note the spears piercing the unfortunate Elephant, courtesy of the Matadors Of Spurios, and Hercules's abdominal tattoo of Marilyn Monroe.

Milk Tray please.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 22, 2017, 11:55:19 AM
The Killer Stork had me in stitches. Okay, that's two entries.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Redundant on November 22, 2017, 04:42:30 PM
Is it a mix of George Orwell's Animal Farm and Dante's Inferno?  If it is the answer is a portrait of Barry Manilow.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 22, 2017, 05:15:27 PM
And where on the grid is his nose?
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 22, 2017, 08:48:39 PM
"The Sinking of Noah's Ark."
For my prize, I'd like---let's not complicate things---a golden monkey champagne fountain.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 22, 2017, 09:11:35 PM
"The Sinking of Noah's Ark."

Are you actually looking at the piece of art?


For my prize, I'd like---let's not complicate things---a golden monkey champagne fountain.

Stick fur to a Tiny Tears and fill it with Champagne - I might just let you win.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: colcool007 on November 22, 2017, 09:57:36 PM
"The Sinking of Noah's Ark."

Are you actually looking at the piece of art?


For my prize, I'd like---let's not complicate things---a golden monkey champagne fountain.

Stick fur to a Tiny Tears and fill it with Champagne - I might just let you win.
At least he said a golden monkey fountain rather than the fountain I was thinking of.  I keep looking at this and all I can think of as a title is Baby Bird and Biggus Dickus.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 22, 2017, 10:18:22 PM
Soup
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 22, 2017, 11:39:05 PM
Instead of chocolates?
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Zesty White on November 23, 2017, 08:33:01 AM
It looks to me like a whale breaking the surface of the water, carrying the parking guide for a Rolls Royce in its flipper - that has just been scratched by Wolverine out of the X-men.

Since a whale is one of the heavier members of the animal kingdom, and it has possession of something from a Rolls and has been attacked by a sidekick of Professor X,I think it only appropriate to call the picture ‘Beefy Rolex.’

In fact, never mind the picture, I think I’ve just found my stage name....
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 23, 2017, 03:40:28 PM
It's good to see you again, Zesty, after four years.

I assume from your description that you're drinking the same stuff Roger is drinking.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 24, 2017, 02:37:48 AM
Soup is not my award winning answer. I heard the bell ding on the microwave and had to get my soup out (leek & potato).
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Egg on November 25, 2017, 08:31:47 AM
It’s dog having a piss while watching a snail on a skateboard glide over Gandhi’s flip flop in the London smog!!! Chocolate Orange please. (y)
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 25, 2017, 08:39:15 AM
How did this turn into a creative writing task?

Here's how to properly enter this competition:

1. At least look at the abstract art.

2. Write a competition entry.

3. Back up your answer with reference to the text, paying particular attention to rhyme scheme and word choice by pointing out where you are seeing what you are seeing.

I'm grading a lot of you down if you don't make some kind of passing reference to the artwork. I've got my red pen ready!
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Egg on November 25, 2017, 10:52:01 AM
Dog cocking it’s leg up F, G,H - 11, 12, 13
Snail on Skateboard D, E, F - 5, 6
Gandhi’s Flip Flop background
Smog.....Grey!

Come on! How can you not see this!

I’m going to call it “Terry’s”
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: peter on November 25, 2017, 01:16:52 PM
I dont care if i am cheating thats the scrapings malcolm made whilst scrapping wall paper of his stairs  so its got to be
plastercast by george
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 25, 2017, 02:20:00 PM
Oh, how wrong you are.

Nope! That was genuinely painted by someone.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 25, 2017, 02:29:05 PM
Egg and Tarks are in the lead here simply for pointing out vague shapes in the painting.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 26, 2017, 01:28:55 PM
Okay, I'll share with Egg. He can have the hard centres, coffee cremes, and the Turkish Delights.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 26, 2017, 02:01:37 PM
I'm going to declare the winner on the morning of Saturday 2nd December. Like Roger in previous competitions, I have concluded that it's best not to leave things too late. Royal Mail is not always reliable, especially around Christmas, and I want to make sure I leave myself more than enough time to look for some sweets that I can nosh with the money I save in postage and by not buying a prize. I shall, however, post a photo here of something you would have been happy receiving.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 26, 2017, 03:45:36 PM
Excellent! Knowing you, that ought to be a HUGE prize then. Yay!
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 26, 2017, 05:40:22 PM
Or I might just send the winner a travel version of Stupidemic (http://www.cameldung.co.uk/index.php?topic=3239.0).
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Egg on November 27, 2017, 07:52:39 PM
Okay, I'll share with Egg. He can have the hard centres, coffee cremes, and the Turkish Delights.
I’ll take that! Anything.... apart from toffees!!

BTW Mince, did I mention that if when I win, the Chocolate Orange needs to be the size of your head!  :P
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 28, 2017, 04:34:01 PM
Okay, I'll share with Egg. He can have the hard centres, coffee cremes, and the Turkish Delights.
I’ll take that! Anything.... apart from toffees!!

BTW Mince, did I mention that if when I win, the Chocolate Orange needs to be the size of your head!  :P

Wouldn't you rather have a full-sized one?

By the way, toffees count as hard centres.  :\
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Zesty White on November 29, 2017, 12:41:41 PM
I saw a 4.5kg Toblerone in the supermarket last night.

Not a suggestion for a prize - just an observation.....
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on November 29, 2017, 01:09:13 PM
How are people taking to your new Beefy Rolex name?

I think I can stretch to a posted photo of a large Toblerone.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on December 03, 2017, 09:30:52 AM
Okay, the artwork is in fact the paint from a family parking space in Morrisons. The winner of this year's competition is Sandy Buttcheeks, since he was the closest. Once he chooses his prize, I'll post a photo of it.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: peter on December 03, 2017, 06:17:14 PM
i want a recount he did not enter i have checked his name does not show its a con
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Mince on December 03, 2017, 08:44:13 PM
Only my dad can write five sentences with neither capital letters nor full stops.
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on December 03, 2017, 10:04:01 PM
Well done, Sandy - you played a blinder!
Title: Re: Christmas Competition 2017
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 24, 2017, 12:49:25 AM
Thank you one and all.

I choose Dot Cotton riding a 3-headed unicorn.

Roll on, 2019!