Author Topic: Physics Jokes  (Read 3455 times)

Offline Mince

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Physics Jokes
« on: March 29, 2017, 09:54:19 AM »
1. A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon replies, "No thanks, I'm travelling light."

2. The bartender says "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve faster than light particles here." A tachyon walks into a bar.

3. Did you know photons had mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

4. I told this joke to a neutron. It didn't react.

5. A neutrino walks through a bar...

6. A neutron walks into a bar and asks "How much is it for a drink?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

7. 100 kilopascals go into a bar.

8. Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!".

9. A hundred scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for one beer. The second one asks for 1/2 a beer. The third scientist asks for 1/4 a beer. The bartender just pours two beers and says "You guys need to know your limits."

10. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar … followed by Batman.

Online Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2017, 04:46:33 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D

It will no doubt be a huge disappointment to you, but I got all of those.

Very good. Where do you nick them?
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2017, 06:47:34 PM »
I got/worked out six of them and didn't understand the other four. I'm no Sheldon Cooper.

Offline Mince

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2017, 09:37:10 PM »
Which ones do you still not understand?

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2017, 09:44:57 PM »
The last four. (And please don't interpret this as me WANTING to understand them!)

Offline Mince

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2017, 09:49:49 PM »
7. 1 kilopascal = 0.01 bar (both units of pressure).

8. Gold has the symbol Au (Ay you).

9. 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 . . . approaches the limit 2.

10. Sodium has the symbol Na, so sixteen gives: Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman!

Offline Mince

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2017, 09:51:37 PM »
Very good. Where do you nick them?

I will ignore that insult and simply politely inform you that I'm never telling you . . . so, ner!

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2017, 09:57:17 PM »
7. 1 kilopascal = 0.01 bar (both units of pressure).

8. Gold has the symbol Au (Ay you).

9. 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 . . . approaches the limit 2.

10. Sodium has the symbol Na, so sixteen gives: Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman!
Slaps forehead at the answer to number ten.

Offline Mince

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2017, 10:10:12 PM »
Slaps forehead at the answer to number ten.

I never said they were good jokes.  8)

Online Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2017, 10:44:20 PM »
From you, they were brilliant!
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Mince

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2017, 11:28:28 PM »
I actually try real hard to make original jokes to make my wife laugh. They're usual pretty awful - slightly worse than the average 'Dad' joke but still miles better than the puns Sandy comes up with. Perhaps I ought to start detailing some of them here.

Sandy Buttcheeks

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Re: Physics Jokes
« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2017, 12:28:32 AM »
I particularly liked 2 and 8.

Almost amusing.

Actually, that's a lie. I was just trying to be cool. They were actually rather funny.

  ;D ;D ;D