Valentine's Day gifts.

[Roger Kettle]

I'm sure most, if not all of you will be desperately thinking about what you should get me for Valentine's Day so here are a few tips.
I don't have a sweet tooth so don't even consider chocolates. I am, however, extremely fond of artichokes. At first glance, these plants may not strike you as particularly romantic but think about it. Tinned artichoke HEARTS. (Hearts...romantic...get it?)
I don't like flowers. Well, that's not strictly true. I quite enjoy looking out my window and seeing flowers in my garden. I simply don't see the reasoning behind going outside, killing them and then putting them in a vase so that I can look at them a bit closer.
I don't have a huge problem with one of the other traditional Valentine's Day gifts, wine. I only get through two or three glasses of the stuff every week but, twist my arm, I'll accept a case of a cheeky Medoc.
Jewellery isn't really my thing---my arthritic fingers don't even allow a wedding ring---but, hey, if you want to commission a solid gold Beau Peep medallion, so be it.
Hope this helps.
I love you all.

[Mince]

I'd get you something but it would probably just be stored away with the Stupidemic game.

[Roger Kettle]

I played with the box!

[Mince]

So did you get anything?

[Roger Kettle]

Yes, frustrated with my stupidity.

[Mince]

I meant anything beyond that daily occurrence.

[Roger Kettle]

17,419 cards. A hugely disturbing 2% down on last year.

[Mince]

With all the newer antipsychotic medications coming out nowadays, that's to be expected.